RUDE DUDE: American Airlines Edition...

Rude rude rude.

Sometimes My Job is just way too easy....

from the big gay umbrella to rain boots to the spangly headband... these two are just a delicious double coupon of CTA goodness.

The Joliet Community Players Presents...

A CHORUS LINE!!!

God, I hope I get it!!

OK, Yes, I know I'm only going away for one short Christian Retreat weekend, but...

BUT I REALLY NEED to bring the following things:
- hot rollers
- "Holy rollers Bible for the 90210 set"
- stretch pants, blue
- stretch pants, black
- stretch pants, purple
- slippers
- robe
- nicorette gum, pepermint (smoking is a SIN)
- GOOD bra/panties in case there is a cute guy at my Christian Retreat
- Checkers
- backgammon
- lemon scented candles
- Jean Nate body splash
- etc. etc. etc.

I mean, REALLY?!?!?! What have you got in your giant backpack that didn't fit into your giant suitcase and totebag????????????????

When Bad Clothes Happen to Fat People (Elevator Edition)

I realize that life is sometimes not fair.
That you might be diabetic.
That you might have a "glandular" issue.
But really? Ruffles in a see-through white crepe top? With a black bra?
Please tell me you are headed to a party. And you're the pinata.